the Evil Network

Not necessarily evil, but not necessarily good...

Zoinks! Magazine | Nerdflood

Monday, February 28, 2005

This jail cell isn't big enough for all of us...

Posted by Nathaniel at 10:06 PM
I love to write. You think I'd do it more often. Truth be told, I think I do it too much. I just don't do it here.

Now, I've been convicted. Eric hit the nail on the head with his post a couple of days ago. Here's the paragraph that actually caught my attention:
I don't get paid for Websnark. I'll never be paid for Websnark. And some days I have no gas in the tank for writing it at all, and I admit it. But even on those days I'll post something by midnight saying I have nothing. I have something, and I try, on at least a semi-regular basis, to have something good.
He wasn't talking about me in particular. I know this. I'm fairly confident that Eric joins the internet masses who don't even recognize that the Evil Network even takes up a tiny bit of space on this webscape. But I've been convicted just the same.

For years now, I've been in love with the idea of the Evil Network. The idea has been magnificent to imagine. The idea has kept me creating and re-creating the Evil Network in so many different incarnations over the years, trying in vain to once again attain the recognition this site once held. I've held such a firm grip on the idea, that it has even sucked others into its void. Dacquin and ArshrAAm and Savage Alien. They've all bought into my idea, and I'm beginning to wonder what this idea even is.

I love to write. I originally put up the Evil Network because I wanted to be able to create for an audience that would appreciate my words and my perspective. But I've been neglecting my child. If I want the idea to become more of a reality, I have to work at it. It won't come by chance; nothing ever does. If I want something to happen, I have to make it happen. To paraphrase Eric:
I don't get paid for the Evil Network. I'll never be paid for the Evil Network. And some days I will have no gas in the tank for writing it at all, and I admit it. But even on those days I'll post something by midnight saying I have nothing. I'll always have something; and I'll try, on at least a semi-regular basis, to have something good.
Consider this yet another renewal. Actually, no - consider this a pact. If you promise to buy into this idea of mine, I promise not to waste your belief in what we can accomplish here.

I love to write. And starting now, I finally remember that I love to write here.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Loon-atics what?

Posted by Savage Alien at 12:17 PM
What's up, doc?

This came to my attention late last week. Warner brothers has finally given up on trying to keep the classic Loony Tunes feel alive and try going in a new direction with the characters. Something that the new animators can call their own, having more freedom to do what they want instead of worrying about living up to the greats of yore.... No, they aren't creating an entirely new series, though they as well have gone that route. If you haven't heard the news, Warner Brothers is taking the Bugs Bunny and friends and injecting them with super-powers and throwing them into the far future (probably to fight crime).

Bugs is now Buzz and has laser vision and expert martial arts skills. Daffy, Road Runner, Wile Coyote, Lola (fem bunny), and Taz are also among the others to be transformed and featured in this new series. Others are rumoured to only guest appear as it's just too hard to use everyone. (I remember certain animators who managed.)...But If you're like the majority, you're wondering why they didn't just let the "wabbit kick the bucket" and create something completely wabbit-free. They really just made it harder on themselves using the classic characters. I don't see how this will be any different. They'll just be less cuddly and more streamlined, dark, and evil looking (see here). Only time will tell how well their idea will work out. Judgement Day come this fall on your local WB toon network.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Cataloging your games is bad.

Posted by Dacquin at 7:35 AM
I got a Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Gameboy, Nintendo 64 (or Nintendo Ultra for those like me), Virtua Boy (Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!), Gamecube, and now a Playstation 2. With all of that, I felt I needed to catalog my games, so I know what I had and what I didn't have.

That was my mistake.

I've just realized how many games I have yet to beat. I have 4 NES games (but I'm not going to try and beat Gauntlet. You try it sometime.), 3 Gameboy, 1 SNES (thank goodness for small miracles), 1 N64, 3 Playstation, and 6 Gamecube. I need a vacation so I can play all these #%@# games.


I'll try and have another gaming review up soon.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Cursed post.

Posted by Dacquin at 10:26 AM
If you post in this thread, you will be cursed the rest of the day. I posted in it yesterday, and I had a bad day. Don't believe me? Try it. Preferably at 11:00 PM

Sunday, February 13, 2005

It hurts to swallow

Posted by Nathaniel at 7:36 PM
I know I've been quiet around here lately. Luckily, Dacquin has been seeing to it that the site does not lack in content despite my best efforts to the contrary.

I was hoping to get some more stuff posted in recent days since work was beginning to slow down a bit this week, until I was struck down quite unfortunately by that most foul of the viral demons: strep throat. My wife got it early last week, and I was sure to follow. It was just a matter of when.

The good news is that the night before I realized I had strep throat, I had purchased a new wireless router for my laptop, so I'm currently writing this from my comfy sick nest on my very comfy bed. Comfy.

So, I plan to get another installment of the Family Gamer up sometime soon, but not extremely soon. Also, sometime within the next week I'll close the logo design contest and announce the winner (if any). In the meantime, enjoy some of the stuff our fellow Evil Network cohorts are posting.

I just realized how bad the title of this post sounds.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Funny side note of the day.

Posted by Dacquin at 9:14 AM
I found out I have Swords and Serpents today. Thinking about playing it on my Nintendo, I remembered the reason why I got it in the first place.


So I could legally download the ROM and save the state instead of remembering the password. I don't remember the password length, but what I've put up is enough to make someone wonder why you would buy this game since you would have to spend 10 minutes just to write down the password.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Spelunker Review (NES)

Posted by Nathaniel at 9:26 PM
by Dacquin


I’ve realized that I’ve done a few reviews on popular NES games that everyone enjoyed. What about a game that I feel not many people have gotten to play? That’s why I’m reviewing Spelunker.


So, to the average gamer, is Spelunker worth it?

2.9/5 Tryable and probably enjoyable.

I like this game, it’s kind of nostalgic for me because whenever I got tired of playing my other nintendo games, I went back to Spelunker. The objective is you’re a miner who’s trying to get the big treasure in this newly discovered mine. You’ve got to tackle the terrors of the mines and get past obstacles to reach the prize that waits for you at the bottom.

The weapons that you have at your disposal are bombs (to blast through rocks), flares (to destroy bats), and your gun (used to take care of ghosts). You have an air gauge with you that, if it drops to E, you’ll lose a life. When you use your gun, it takes a portion of your air to use, so you have to use it sparingly. In order to beat the four levels of the game, you have to collect a number of keys so that you can gain passage to the next area.

It’s a fun game, once you get through EVERY SINGLE HARD PART of the game. There’s many easy ways to die, so you have to pace yourself. For example, when you lay down a bomb, run away or you’ll die. This sounds easy, but with certain rocks, escaping death is extremely tricky to do. Also, you have to do some rope jumping. The rope won’t swing, but knowing the length you can drop down on a rope and NOT hit the ceiling is tricky, plus, if you fall too far (which isn’t too high up in the first place), you’ll die. You’ll have these situations throughout the game. Plus, your air doesn’t last long. There are quite a few air supplies throughout the game, but the farther you go, the less there’ll be available, so you’ll be crossing your fingers near the end trying to find the life-giving air so you won’t die.

It’s hard, beyond a doubt, but that’s its charm. And, if you beat the game, you get to play it over again! However, when you play it over again, there’s an added challenge. All I have to say is, remember where the keys where? As far as I know, there are 2 other harder difficulties past the 2nd one.

Definitely try it. It might not be your cup of tea, but I found it enjoyable, nonetheless.


Edit: I replayed it again and beat it just losing 2 lives. I can't believe I still have everything memorized.

NES Information Station

Posted by Dacquin at 11:46 AM
I was trying to find if anyone had ever had Spelunker. I came upon this page called NESfiles. This contains information about video games for the old Nintendo system. What's included with some of the games are instruction manuals in .pdf form (shocked they had one for Spelunker), pictures of the game cartridge, plus they showcase games on Ebay so you can bid on games you're looking at. Really great stuff.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

I need your assistance, if only to prove a point.

Posted by Dacquin at 1:32 PM
I saw something and I had to tell everyone that if we learned nothing from Baby Geniuses 2, we should not make a crappy sequel from an already crappy original.

And I saw this.

Afterwards, I sparked a conversation with my sister that they were making a sequel out of House of the Dead and she said "Cool!" (obviously she hasn't seen the movie, but thought I liked it. *snicker*) I told her the original sucked badly even though I never saw it and called me a 'mindless drone' because I should judge for myself instead of having 'good friends' tell me how bad it was.

After nearly dying of laughter, she got unbelievable peeved at me. She still thinks I need to watch it, so I won't be a mindless drone. So, if you could perform a public service, email me at and tell me how bad the movie was, it would be graciously appreciated. They'll be sent to my sister so that she'll understand that my friends did a favor in preventing me from seeing this movie.

I feel sorry for all you who did see it. I feel your pain. I saw Super Mario Bros.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

PSA for Parents at Arcades.

Posted by Dacquin at 4:02 PM
I went to an arcade to calm down, and instead, found myself hassled with little kids. So, I wanted to give parents a heads up on what to allow kids to do at an arcade.

1. Kids should play simple games, like Galaga, Pac-man, or DDR (if nobody is playing)

Simple games are the only type of games that kids can play and not lose so quickly on. This also disallows kids from running around the arcade, since they'll last longer on these games than others.

2. Kids don't need to play shooters.

I could write 2 pages on this topic, but I'll keep it simple. Kids can't shoot worth a darn (not that they should be playing violent shooter games in the first place) and will waste your hard earned money. If someone else is playing, allowing a kid to play causes more stress to the first player since more enemies will come out and the kid will shoot nothing except the good guys that appear and the first player will die sooner than he wanted due to the kid's lack of experience.

3. Keep kids at arms length.

All the people who are serious gamers don't like to lose concentration on their games. Kids will come up asking "What's your name?", "Can I play?", and annoy with "I'm not touching you!". Not only is this annoying, but will almost guarentee a shorter life span on the kid, so keep them closeby.


Ah...... Now I feel better venting this. Thank you for your time.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Daily Angst

Posted by Nathaniel at 1:32 PM
Comics It appears as though removing Weekend Warriors sometime back isn't the only change on Barry's agenda over at He has also put Angst Technology on a M-F schedule, with Sorry, We're Open appearing only on the weekends.

Now, if only the Wizard could give Hugh a brain...

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Emergency Services Underway

Posted by Nathaniel at 4:49 PM
Internet My daily trawl through the vast reaches of the intraweb include a very early--if not first--stop at Evil Avatar. This should be the case for many of you.

Imagine my dismay to discover their beloved site dismantled this fine morning, with little remaining besides a nearly blank "Don't worry, be happy" placeholder page to let people know they WILL be back, but not necessarily in the same shape and size as we had previously known them to be.

The part that really hurts is that EA had just come out of a redesign and replacement that left the site in a much more powerful and efficient state after months of slow loads and difficult-to-manage historical post logs. I was looking forward to a year of solid performance and the ability to contribute more than I had in the past. Too bad.

You can go to their placeholder page and donate to their unfortunate sudden cause, and I encourage you to do so, as I will be (once payday hits). Support homegrown evil. It's what the Evil Network is all about.

EDIT: it should be noted that although I refer to "they" and "them" in the post, Evil Avatar is actually run by bascially one man, Philip, who could probably use some textual support in addition to money.

We've moved!