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Zoinks! Magazine | Nerdflood

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Guitar Hero Guidelines


Link: http://www.guitarherogame.com/
Posted by Dacquin at 7:39 PM
GamingPlaying this game was fun at Best Buy. Owning this game now, I realize there’s a few steps you must take to really get all the fun out of Guitar Hero. Pay attention class.

1. Buy the game. You people who play on the regular controllers because you rented this off of Gamefly are missing something. Actually, you’re missing everything. Buy the game and buy the controller. No one in their right mind plays this game without the guitar controller.

2. Wear appropriate apparel while playing. A nice vintage shirt and jeans will do. It’s incredibly uncool to play this in your pajamas. Could you imagine yourself going onstage in your pajamas and rocking to Crossroads by Cream? I didn’t think so.

3. Stand up. You do not play Guitar Hero while sitting down and playing like it was a regular video game. It’d be like you’re playing acoustic guitar. We are not wussies like them. People who rock play standing up. Just don’t break the guitar at the end of the song.

4. Start easy. No matter how much experience you have, you will be starting on easy or medium. If you’ve seen normal people playing terribly and giving these rockers sad faces because their rock bar is on red and they were trying to do too much. You have to practice to get good. Rockers do not let other rockers feel like they suck, unless it’s a guitar duel, then they deserved it.

5. Don’t kill your hands. It’s might be fun and your hands are hurting a little, but don’t overdo it. You do want to keep playing later on in life. At most, I’ve played forty minutes before taking a break.

I’ll have a review for this soon, but first I’ll have to stop playing. I’m in a middle of a break actually. Uh oh, I heard ENCORE! Gotta go!

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